A Prayer for Waiting
Waiting has been a significant aspect of my journey for the last four years. I’ve always had to wait for things to happen, for God to answer my prayers, but not like this. Never in my life have I waited for so many things, all at once, for such a long time. I did not choose to practice waiting, to learn patience in an entirely new way. But the process of engaging in the (involuntary) practice of waiting – as the days turned into months and years – changed me. It is still changing me. I wrote this prayer when the waiting had become too much for too long. Then, I prayed this prayer as I continued to wait. Now I am sharing it because we are all waiting for something. May this prayer be a companion while you wait.
Waiting is so very hard, God.
As the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months pass by
without response or resolution,
it is easy to become impatient, irritable.
Sometimes, I want to demand an end to all this waiting,
reprieve from the uncertainty,
relief from living in-between here and there,
respite from the space between already and not yet.
Some days, waiting is almost unbearable.
It overwhelms and becomes too much, God.
But then I remember that you live in the space in-between.
It is not uncertain and uncomfortable to you.
You are the God of already and not yet.
In-between is where you do your best work.
This awareness doesn’t make waiting any easier.
Time does not begin to move more quickly.
But I know that I am not alone.
I have a companion on the journey.
Your presence comforts me.
It provides respite, relief, reprieve.
Space to breathe.
It is pure grace.
And I realize that you are forming me,
re-making me while I wait.
Sanctifying me in this liminal space,
shaping me into who I will become.
I don’t know when the waiting will end,
or what is to come when the wait is over.
But I know I will never be the same.
I will not be able to return to what was.
I will simply take a step forward,
and then another; one step at a time.
And you will go with me, into what will be.
I will not step into the unknown alone.
But for now…as I wait…
calm and quiet my soul.
Help me to experience the sacrament of this moment with you,
when I can simply rest in your grace.